Keep It Simple, Stupid

In a world that constantly twists itself more complex and complicated, we must rely on little reminders that urge us to keep it simple. Same goes for accessories. I feel like everywhere we turn bags and shoes and jewelry alike are screaming for attention, trying to become bigger, badder, with more ropes, tangles, and twists just to outshine its trendy predecessor. New body parts are being created just to keep up with all the accessories. Frankly it's giving me an anxiety condition.

That's why -- even though I am a pioneer for the original, unusual and totally out-there accents -- I am championing simplicity this week, finding solace in the stable pieces that are so obvious, they're unique. Like this gold ring, which formerly was my mother's wedding band when she was too fat (read: pregnant) to wear her diamond encrusted one. I like to pair it with stacks of bangles or necklaces that ask for a hint of gold on my hands. And I wouldn't want any of my already existing body parts to feel left out.

Writing Style

Whether you’re writing a grocery list, or writing as a journalist, it is imperative that you have the highest quality, best functioning tools. This gorgeous horn and feather pen does not qualify as either. In fact, it sorriest excuse for a pen this writer has ever seen. It is, however, super chic, like a modern-day quill… And as an accessory enthusiast, it simply cannot be ignored.

So in today’s battle of style vs. function, style emerges the victor. Yet function is not completely lost: the pen doubles as the perfect keyboard duster.

Fake Out

I spent my teen years obsessed with designer items. So much that I would sleep in Juicy sweatpants and started to believe that Kate Spade was my best friend. But I've wised up in my old age and concluded that, frankly, I don't really give a shit. Gucci, Fendi, Louis Vuitton... whatever. That's not to syt that the work they produce is not utterly gorgeous or worth the price on the tag -- I just believe that wearing name brands doesn't necessarily make you any better dressed than a person wearing an anonymous brand. For example:

  

During a trip to Italy about three years ago, I stopped into Roberto Cavalli and ogled over this horn necklace that was hanging like a ripe fruit around a mannequin's neck. Normally, when I have such a physical reaction to an accessory, it's a no-brainer: I buy it. The only thing stopping me in this case was the fact that this necklace was $550. And by dollars, I mean euros. Morally, I had to pass, but I was emotionally distraught. 

You know how people say 'everything happens for a reason'? I usually hate that shit but in this case it was true. When I got back to the states I went shopping (shocker) and stumbled upon this little number: 

 

 My horn necklace is now one of my go-to faves. I bought it for $25 at TopShop on a much shorter chain, which I interchanged with this gold fill chain I owned from 100 years ago. So you decide for yourself -- Are you able to tell the difference between the designer piece and the imitation? Do you even care? You already know my answer.

So this illustrates one of the greatest lessons I learned throughout my fashionista years: don't let the real thing fool you. 

Style Over Function

Okay. So an urn may not be the most ebullient of items to decorate your apartment with, but it certainly conveys specific information about the owner. For instance, it may say something like, "this person is strangely comfortable with daily reminders of death" or, "this person is so well organized, she has already purchased the containers that will hold the remains of her loved ones when they each meet their demise."

I'll let you think whatever you want regarding my ownership of the above urns, but you can't deny the fact that they are unusual and interesting, albeit a little creepy (but before you get weirded out I have you know that they are from Jonathan Adler, not a funeral home). I usually have them speckled in different places all over the apartment and mixed in with other tchotchkes -- they look great when they are slightly hidden behind other elements. It also keeps visitors from feeling uncomfortable.

Do you have any accessories that make people feel awkward?

Tex-TURE! Tex-TURE!

 There is no element to furniture, clothing or accessories that gives a piece more dynamic then texture. In my opinion, texture is oftentimes the difference between chic and geek. It’s a fine (haha! Pun!) line. Take this Jonathan Adler ceramic box for example:

Studs, glorious studs! Without them, this would be just another overpriced ceramic box that doesn’t actually say anything about the owner or the home, and even less about the designer. But with this added layer of texture, it becomes a fixture of style, an item that speaks volumes about a space’s personality and adds to the ethos of the environment.

Be it a printed leather bag, a cowhide rug, or a painting’s heavy impasto, I am and will always be a pioneer for touchable surfaces. So much that I would even start chanting about it (hence the title of this post).

What’s your favorite textural surface and por que?

What Time You Got?

I'm not proud of this, but time-telling is not my strong suit. And what's the point anyway? Analog clocks have sort of become a dead technology since digital has come onto the scene. It is in the perspective of this blogger that the only real purpose for an analog clock is decoration. For your wrist.

This little number is an oldie but goodie from La Mer Collections. And I recently checked -- they have a whole lot more studded, leather and even neon goodness for summer. In fact I just saw this exact watch in rose gold that I think I need. I've had this watch in my inventory for about three years now; it's one of those rare, anti-seasonal pieces that mix and match beautifully with almost any outfit (as long as your outfit is super-fabulous). 

The only downside of wearing a watch is that people ask you for the time, and I don't exactly have the skill set to tell them. I think that's why the iPhone was invented.

On Purpose

Repurposing one item and transforming it into something more functional and wayyyyy cooler is – sadly – one of my greatest thrills in life. And the following may be my greatest re-creation yet.

I will give a virtual high-five to the reader who guesses what these printed rabbit fur pillows once were.

…Or, I can just tell you. Once upon a time, those pillows were actually a vintage fur coat. Though the coat was delicate (and by that I mean the lining was attached to the seams like patches of psoriasis) and a little too big (and by that I mean I was a gold tooth away from being a pimp), I loved the print, and knew that one day this piece would come in handy. A couple years later, in a stroke of genius, I realized that its greater purpose was to become an unconventional piece of furniture. And, viola! Stylin' pillows.

Now, if I can only figure out what to do with the sleeves of the coat… leg warmers, anyone?

A belt as a necklace? A headband as a bracelet? What accessory item have you repurposed?

A Mug Worth Fighting For

It was not until I had my own apartment that I ever had any interest in interiors, or for that matter, the peppering of accessories that spice up the place. As the kitchen is oftentimes the least decorate-able room in a studio apartment, it can be a challenge to personalize it and make it one’s own. Since applying a back splash was out of the question due to the high cost of money and especially effort, I decided to accessorize my kitchen with far more clever items that also express my personal style. And you would not believe how many violent mugs there are out there.

Besides, you never know when you will have to throw down on your coffee break.

Everyone has a favorite mug – what is yours and why?

Sssssssexy

Some people tell me that my style can be a little... creepy. What with the leather, studs, spikes and skulls, I take that as a compliment. I like that fact it's different from all the Lilly-Pulitzer-wearing, Vera-Bradley-carrying girls who I grew up with. The most recent addition to my wardrobe reiterates this point.

I saw this sexy little serpent and fell in love. My style, though fabulous, can be slightly predictable at times. I have never met a pair of biker boots I didn't like, and my first shopping stop is always to the leather department. There have been a few times when I realized that my most recent purchase resembled that of something I've already owned. This belt, however, is unlike anything I have in my closet. It still communicates the rocker-chic attitude that I love in a Cleopatra kind of a way. It was only appropriate that I gave it a new home.

A Little DIY Never Hurt Anyone....

A NYC dream for every 20-something girl is to have a Vogue-interview worthy, decorated-to-perfection loft in TriBeCa. Unfortunately for most of us, this remains a dream well into our 40s, or fades into a more practical reality of an Upper West Side 2-bedroom better suited for children and closer to our offices. But occasionally, our tiny little studio apartments can serve as a stepping stone, showcasing our expensive tastes without actually costing that much at all...

With the help of a very talented decorator, I've created the age-appropriate apartment of my dreams. Nahila kept in mind my 20-something budget, and curated an apartment that says sophistication, not struggle. Discover her here.

The globe is one of my favorite pieces. I don't usually reveal my secrets, but in this case I will make an exception. I paid $20 dollars for that globe, and about $6 for the gold spray paint. Nahila, crafty as she is, covered the masculine silver with a blanket of solid gold. (Nahhhh, not really...) And there you have it kids -- cheapest, easiest, and chicest secret of all is always to Do It Yourself.

Never Judge A Necklace By Its Hardware

If my shopping exploits over the years have taught me one thing, it's this: on the hanger, it may look fabulous, but on the body it may look like a sack o' potatoes -- or vice versa. Sometimes you have to be brave enough to see the potential of an unusual piece, or be smart enough to realize that a gorgeous designer item looks like complete shit.

The necklace below is prime illustration of the above scenario that changed my perspective forever:

This sparkly number was lying sadly in a case at Intermix, 50% off because no one was paying it any attention. It was sort of obvious why: there it was, sitting next to daintier, more feminine jewels, the only piece daring enough to marry heavy hardware with bold rhinestones -- not a combination for the faint of heart. In the case, the necklace looked like a paradox -- slightly cumbersome, a little androgynous, and overall a bit too much. But there was something intriguing about it (aside from the sale price), and I tried it on. The stars aligned at the very moment I buckled the clasp; it took on a different role at that moment, bringing an edgy-gone-ethnic moment to any outfit. I needed it.

That was nearly two years ago, a despite the ever-evolving trend scene that is New York City, it is still a go-to item for me: it glams up leather and roughs up dresses, transcending the androgyny laws that we blindly obey.  So if there is a bottom-line, it's this: follow your gut. If something tells you it's worth a try, don't deny your instincts.

Snuff

I firmly believe that being in your home should be an experience for all the senses. Call me picky, but I just like things in a certain way: lighting and ambiance can be the difference feeling soothed or amped (I prefer lighting strictly by lamp); music is key, and is also a porthole into your taste; but above all, I value scent. I am a candle fanatic, and am particularly obsessed with anything and everything sold at the store Aedes De Venustus -- check them out here: http://www.aedes.com/

As I love candles so much, I think they deserve their own accessories. Behold! The Candle-Snuffing Skull! I know you're all wondering what the point is of a candle snuffer, when it's easier and cheaper to use your breath... My friends, as you soon will learn, it is all about the details.

A Charmed Life

If there is any piece of jewelry that captures the many different aspects of your personality, it's charms. No exception for my minimalist charm necklace; I bought it off of one of those street vendors in Soho 3 years ago under the encouragement of my bestie, Rachel. Originally it had just the skull and a Swiss Army knife-like baby-shank that was actually sharp enough to cut things... very small things. Over the years I added and subtracted from it based off of what I felt suited me at the time: the peace sign represents the music-festival-going hippie in me (post Bonnaroo). The long tablet is my grandmother's name in hieroglyphics -- she got it in Egypt (duh), and got to experience the world through travel, a life I desperately envy. The hamsa snapped off another bracelet I had and fit all too perfectly on my necklace. It also brings me protection, happiness and good fortune, so that's a plus. And the Skull... well, you will soon learn about my obsession with them. And it's not because I love death.

In Like a Lion...

Field trips, as a college student are rare and usually not as fun as visiting a science museum when you're 8. And my trip to the hospice home my senior year for my psych class was no exception. I highly doubt that one of the last things Mimi Canning wanted before she died was a visit from 30 freaked out college kids, but none the less she got it.

We did perform one exercise though, that I still refer back to occasionally. My professor asked us to write a list of 5 items only - people or things - that we would want to take with us when we die. The usual suspects were on everyone's list: Mom, Dad, boyfriend/girlfriend, stuffed animal, BFF (there were a few variations). High up on my list was the ring you see above. It was formerly my great grandfather's, who's last name in German translated to "lion", who I assume wore it as a pinky ring to smooth out his creepy mustache. The next step of the exercise asked to cross off the items one at a time to see what we were left with.... I don't know what this means, but I was quick to (hypothetically) sacrifice people just to hang on to this ring. (Sorry Mom).

As it's one of the few heirlooms left on my grandmother's side of the family, it's the history I feel bound to. That, and the fact that it is the sickest ring I have ever seen. My little brother has been arguing since it was gifted to me 4 years ago that each sibling should have an equal amount of time with it. I have four siblings. No fucking way.

The Big Picture

In my opinion, life is one big, jumbled accumulation of tiny, invaluable details. It's composed of little memories and moments that join forces to create definitive life experiences. If you're anything like me, you like to hold onto these experiences in some small way: not everyday, not all the time, but somehow, you always make your way back to the keepsakes that unlock the door to your past.

My keepsakes are accessories.

Be it golden heirlooms, housewarming gifts, or some shitty piece of costume jewelry I bought at a street fair, accessorizing is - I believe - one of few forms of keepsakes that accurately indicate something about who you were, who you are, or who you want to be.

So welcome to Unofficial Use Only, the blog-haven of accessories for your body and home. You'll find dozens of sparkly things here: some of which I own, some I wish I owned, but all I love for their beauty and back story. Each featured piece has been curated by yours truly for a particularly fabulous characteristic, for a certain experience I associate it with, or as an allegory for a place I aspire to be. (And if you're wondering about the meaning of the title: who uses accessories officially? No one. Accessories are strictly used in an unofficial capacity. There you have it.)

There's not much of a purpose to this blog besides ogling pretty things, so enjoy! Perhaps as an unintended side effect of reading you'll start looking at your accessories a little differently. But I'm not making any promises.